I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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