I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
