hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
