I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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