He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
