It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
