Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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