think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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