i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
