sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
