i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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