well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.