When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
