DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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