mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
