Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
