she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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