I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i believe in u and ur pee
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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