It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
