ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
