I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
