you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
