we have officially lost it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
