I wanna bring you to show and tell
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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