Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
