Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
