apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
