Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
