It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
