im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They have beer where we have blood.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
