I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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