We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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