Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
