i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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