I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
