Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
