I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am mentally ready for anal.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
