shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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