I think im going to throw up on grandma
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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