so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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