I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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