I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
