i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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