Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
