You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
