Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
ok first of all what the fuck
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
