i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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