he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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