why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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