Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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