he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
