turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
