Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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