Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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