and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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