btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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