me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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