we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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