we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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