My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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