I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
