I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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